Friday, April 03, 2009

My Dream is Shattered

I have a secret. I think I can cook but can't. I secretly dream of having a really cool apron hand sewn by me, made of Amy Butler bright and colorful fabric that I wear on the Food Network, for my very own show that has rave ratings. In reality, I can't even make a Bisquick recipe of the box.
For our church small group dinner this week my friend, Sarah, made hot, fresh out of the oven shortbread using the Bisquick recipe. Tonight, I tried to make the same recipe since Publix had strawberries, 3 quarts for $5. Here is what the shortbread was supposed to look like.
And here is what my shortbread looked like. Feel free to start singing the "One of these things is not like the other" song from Sesame Street. We are talking about three ingredients here: 1 cup of Bisquick, 2 T. sugar, 1/3 cup milk. Spoon it onto a baking sheet and bake for ten minutes. How did I mess this up?

Maybe it was my hasty attempt to put this together in between bathing the kids and myself for the evening before the big storm hit? (notice the wet hair and lack of make up in the picture). While I have shared with you my secret dream, I will also share with you my secret nightmare. It is to be dead asleep in a ratty sorority t-shirt from the early 90's and a pair of hubby's worn out boxers and to find myself tossed into a tree from a tornado. Then, CNN comes to film the aftermath and I'm up in that tree, screaming bloody murder in a deep Southern accent, dressed in a now wet t-shirt and men's boxers, making Alabama proud on national television.

So while my shortbread was a flop, I went to bed last night showered and clean, in real pajamas...just in case.


Katherine Moak said...

I am sure it tasted great. To get that glistening look in the picture, I think they melt a little butter and sugar and paint it on top right before it comes out of the oven.

Ansley said...

Miss Renie, your post just cracked me up! The same thing happened to me with this recipe!!! (I am quite a big fan "box recipes" - I'm afraid to say that most of my recipes come from the back of boxes or cans ;) They're so convenient! Bless the cook's heart who spent days, if not years, finding the best recipe for that product. Why should I try to reinvent the wheel?!?

Luckily, I think I have a solution to your Bisquick Shorbread problem. I have made this recipe at least a dozen times (including the night I met my future in-laws), so I think I can offer a viable solution. I *think* you had old Bisquick with weak leavening ingredients. So, either get a new box (that doesn't look like it's been on the grocery shelf for a decade) or add some additional leavening to your next batch (baking soda? baking powder? The internet gods know.) Hopefully this will do the trick. Don't give up on this recipe - it's a godsend! Truly a 5-star box recipe!

Other tips - I like to roll out the dough (really just pound it with my hands into a somewhat acceptable format) and cut the biscuits with a round glass. It's prettier than the drop version, and they hold their shape better. You can also cut them with fun-shaped cookie cutters, which is even more impressive ;) This might be a fun activity for little Philip. I've made mini-shortbread-biscuits too (with shot glasses), which are a big hit for guests trying to pretend that they are too stuffed to eat dessert. (Does anyone believe that?)

Good luck! I love your blog! I'm always so happy when I find a new posting!

Please say "hi" to Philip for me!


stacy said...

You are hilarious!! I laughed out loud; and now that I've found you're blog, I'll be checking more often! :)