Thursday, December 06, 2007

Dinner Out with Little Philip

Little Philip: "FRIES!" "FRIES!" "FRIES!"

Mommy, alternating with Daddy: "Philip, you need to take a bit of your hamburger first."

Little Philip: "NO! NO! NO!" "FRIES!" "FRIES!" FRIES!" (slams his face into the booth wall)

Daddy looks at Mommy for support, who is seated across the table from he and his son. Mommy shrugs, after all, she's new at this too.

Little Philip, seeing a glimmer of hope instead said "ICE CREAM?" "MOMMY'S ICE CREAM?"

Mommy, sensing a need to be protective over her strawberry shake, her only item for dinner due to pregnancy heartburn, attempts to hide the enormous classic shake anywhere but in her son's hands.

Little Philip again screams "NO DADDY!" "FRIES!" "FRIES!" "FRIES!" (pause) "ICE CREAM!" "ICE CREAM!" "ICE CREAM!"

Daddy tears a tiny piece of hamburger meat and places it on a napkin, attempting to wager with a two year old by saying "Philip, if you will eat just this one piece, you can have a fry."

Little Philip collapses in sheer horror and pain at the thought of not getting his beloved fry. And then, he decides to give it a try. He takes the hamburger bite, places it in his mouth and begins to chew. Mommy and Daddy praise him for being obedient, and Daddy hands him the fry.

Little Philip promptly spits the chewed piece of hamburger out of his mouth, feeling a sense of accomplishment as he opens his mouth to insert the fry. Daddy takes the fry from his hand just before contact.

Again, complete detonation, full out tears, screams of horror. Mommy looks at Daddy and without speaking says in her facial expression "DO NOT REACT! WE HAVE TO DO THIS!"

(customers look around, but then realize the ambiance of Johnny Rocket's calls for such behavior, thus the family friendly atmosphere with loud 50's music to drown out the screaming)

(Mommy, Daddy, and Little Philip repeat steps listed above for about 20 more minutes, with same said chewed hamburger meat being spit out two additional times)

Finally, Daddy shoves a juice in Little Philip's mouth just prior to the fourth attempt to spit out said hamburger sliver. By now Mommy has eaten most of the fries, leaving only a few for this teaching moment.

Little Philip finally swallows that tiny piece of hamburger and earns his fry. He refuses to eat it, until he is in the car on the way home, carrying it proudly out in front of him in the parking lot as he head to the car.

It is 7:58 p.m. and Mommy and Daddy are borrowing Little Philip's 8:00 p.m. bedtime tonight. We've earned it.

3 comments:

the skocelai said...

Renie, Renie, Renie... my heart goes out to you and yours. While leaving Homewood Park today I had to attempt to fasten a 5-point harness with one hand while holding my screaming and writhing child in her carseat with the other. I don't think she was ready to leave yet. I don't know why since I promised her we could play with the dust bunnies when we got home.

Shelia said...

Life with a 2 year old! Your experience sounds like so many we've had lately with Callen. I say we all hire a babysitter one night and the parents go out to dinner!

Amanda said...

I feel your pain. MacKenzie is THE queen of our castle and we go through this many times daily! The last melt down was while I was making an attempt to shop for Christmas. She wanted money out of mommy's purse. No big deal, I gave her a dollar to pacify her, so I thought. She had spotted another dollar, which happend to be a $100 and that was what she wanted. After about 5 minutes of that and shoppers beginning to stare, I promptly decided to remove her from the store. She kicked and screamed the entire way out while shoppers stopped to watch the "display". I was totally embarrassed and still have not really learned an effective way to handle these kinds of situations. I am short tempered and I embarras easily so it's a challenge for me. My husband says that I have been through this once before so I should be able to handle it. Well, there is 12 years age difference in my two. I virtually started over.
But, just wanted you to know that you are not alone and if you ever figure out how to "win" these battles, please share your wisdom.