It was November 12, 2006 when last I left Philip explicit instructions on childcare while I was away at a conference. I was terrified at leaving my son for such a long time. After all, Daddy was likely to feed him "man food" instead of the healthy options I was attempting to force feed my finicky son. So let's see how the instructions have changed as Philip heads into the big second birthday this FRIDAY THE 13TH!
November 2006 instructions: Little Philip will wake around 7:00 a.m. Change his diaper but only after you hug and kiss on him a lot to help him wake up happy. He will want some hot maple and brown sugar oatmeal. Make sure you BUCKLE HIM into his seat and put a bib on him. He likes to sing while he eats his breakfast. Help him learn his basic words like "cat" and "dog" and "juice."
July 2007 Instructions: Little Philip will still wake around 7:00 a.m. He will NOT want maple and brown sugar oatmeal. He will probably ask for fish sticks and chocolate milk but he may not have any. He may have cereal and milk or cinnamon toast and grapes. No need to buckle him in the seat anymore since he wriggles out anyway. Instead of "cat" and "dog let's work on sentences involving two or more words that end or begin with "please" and "thank you."
Dearest little one, Mommy has given up on Daddy sending you to school in matching clothing. Your teachers have been warned about this week. Please don't spend these three days eating Swanson's pot pies while I am away, even though that is what Daddy will eat. Corn dogs do not count as healthy alternatives. Be sure to raise your head in the tub so that Daddy will remember to scrub that nasty black line of dirt that gathers on your neck after a hard day of play. We don't need to buy stock in neosporin. Be sure to tell Daddy you love him every now and then but most importantly, ask for Mommy constantly so that Daddy will know how Mommy felt when he left her for a business trip a few weeks ago. Say "mama" over and over and over and over, for at least an hour on the monitor and repeat around 5:00 a.m. each morning.
Mommy loves her Philippians.
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