A Conversation With Our New Oven

Hi there new Frigidaire stainless steel convection oven with smooth cook top and handle to hang a purely decorative dish towel. Let me just say that you are stunning, really. Not that I won't miss my 1940's Hotpoint complete with olive green trim that had stove eyes sitting at a 45 degree angle. Yes, we are really going to miss those crescent shaped pancakes but the upside is Little Philip will finally know that pancakes are traditionally round. Whoah, now watch it with that door, it can really burn little fingers. Especially since you have a window on you that will entice Little Philip. He's not used to that. You know, he is not allowed in the kitchen while something is baking because of that. Oh really? You are a cool touch oven with a door lock during cooking? Amazing! Wait a minute, be careful whipping that door open like that-

- OOOOH. You are gorgeous inside and self cleaning! Look how big you are in there! Why, I could cook a huge turkey! Not that I would, but you know, if I wanted to I could now! It's so spacious that it is going to be easier to turn the baking dishes every ten minutes during baking time to be sure that they cook evenly - what? I don't have to do that anymore? You mean, you cook food at an even temperature throughout the entire cooking cycle and in every nook and cranny in there? You are something else, you know that? Why, it makes me want to run out and get you that fancy stainless steel surface cleaner spray right now but I have to watch my time before little Helen wakes up from her morning nap. Let me just run into the living room to check the clock. What's that? You have a clock on you too? AND A TIMER? Boy, if I wasn't already married to the most wonderful man in the world...