Summer 2012 Update

Insert "sorry we've not been in touch...life has been busy..." obligatory sentence here.  We are finally coming up for air after what can only be described as a horrific 2011 year.  I'll spare you the details, but in a nutshell, 2011 was physically and emotionally draining on all of us.   We have aged, and gained life experiences no one would willingly accept.   We are Christians, so we found ourselves spiritually challenged and tested as well, leading us to ask lots of "why God?" questions that you might expect.  While the darkness of that time certainly became the focus of our thoughts and prayers, Little Philip's diagnosis came just weeks after our move to a new-to-us home, a new community, and our son starting school in that new community.  Since then, I have pondered the timing of everything in 2011, prayerfully asking what God's will is for me as a mother, and for our family.

Anyone that knows me knows that I appear to have it all together.  I am very good at keeping up appearances, and now recognize that I had started to pass that same trait unintentionally along to my family.   If I ever needed help in the past, I considered it a weakness, something I needed to work through, my "cross to carry" so to speak. What much prayer, spiritual guidance, and time has taught me since 2011 is that such self-reliance is not God honoring and not at all what God's plan is for me.  God encourages us to be in a community of faith, to be encouraging to one another in the good times and the bad, to be open and vulnerable with trusted sisters and brothers in Christ,  struggling to come to terms with living in a fallen world.  In 2011, when my life was being completely turned upside down in more ways than can be shared here, God made it absolutely impossible for me to remain an island unto myself.   I looked awful, felt awful, and acted awful and there was no way to hide it this time.  Friends and family forced me to be less self-reliant, to accept help, prayer, and support.    What I came to recognize is that God's grace is freely given to me if I will accept it, and that He works all things together for good.  If I was truly accepting of His grace, I would have recognized these friends and family members as examples of Him supporting me when I finally admitted that I was a mess.  I am working on continuing to accept this grace but as a 37 year old woman who spent a lifetime building up self-reliant behaviors, this is going to take some time.

To be utterly reliant on God for peace and grace in my life means letting go of my controlling thoughts and anxiety for my family.  I am working to develop the kind of relationship and communication with my children that encourages them to be broken with me. I want them to be open about their fears, sadness, and bad decisions or behaviors with me without fear of judgment or shame.   There is nothing they can do to remove my love for them even if I disapprove of their decisions or actions now and in the future.  Their sweet innocent  hearts and minds at age 7 and 4 cannot comprehend the brokenness that they will undoubtedly experience in the world.  I cannot protect them from it all.  I want them to know that they do not have to have it all together all the time.  And so, with the joys that life offers us and the sad times that come as well, I seek to be a real mom, a real person of faith, so that my children will draw their strength from Christ rather than from anything this world has to offer them.

With Philip and I working in higher education, we mark time in academic years rather than calendar years.   We are embarking on the 2012-2013 year, ready to support our little ones as they start 4K and 1st grade.  We also look forward to welcoming our respective new students to our respective campuses where we work.  We begin this new year with a renewed perspective on faith and life that we are confident will bear spiritual fruit for both ourselves and those around us.

Update on Little Philip

Happy to report that Little Philip's MRI showed no evidence of tumors in his brain! He does have some tumors in his neck, in the same place where the tumor was previously removed but Dr. Rutledge says that they are superficial and are not threatening. So, we will leave them alone since removing them just makes them grow back. We are so thankful for all the prayers and thoughts of all of our family and friends. We have really felt your love and support these past few months. So what happens now? We see Dr. Rutledge every six months from this point forward to monitor any changes in his current tumors, or any other new growth or concerns related to his Neurofibromatosis Type 1 diagnosis. He will have another MRI in another year to make sure there has been no tumor growth in his brain. Dr. Rutledge says she has about 200 pediatric clients and she can name 15 of them. All the others are routine visits with no complications other than what initially resulted in an NF1 diagnosis. So our prayer now is that we will be one of her 185 clients for the rest of our son's life. Thank you again!

Merry Christmas 2011

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More Surgery and Update on Little Philip

Helen had her tonsils and adenoids removed this morning, marking our third family surgery in less than twelve months.  She came through like a champ, and is resting comfortably in her mom and dad's bed right now.  We know the next week will be rough, but we've allowed plenty of time for cuddles, extra attention, and patience as she fully recovers.  We hope this will help her sleep through the night since she never has, even in the womb!

In other  news, we did hear back on Little Philip's test results today which confirmed that he does have Neurofibromatosis Type 1.  We will be scheduled to see Dr. Bruce Korf in January to learn more about managing this condition in our son.  He will have a brain MRI to rule out any major concerns or, at least, be aware of any concerns that may need to be addressed.  Again, there are far worse diagnoses we could have been faced with as parents, so we are trusting in God's timing and plan to help us discern how to approach this as symptoms present themselves in throughout his life.  He is a perfectly healthy little boy, incredibly smart, with the biggest heart you've ever experienced, and the best friend any kid could possibly have.  

Little Philip's Surgery

Little Philip had neck surgery on September 12th, where an ENT removed what we thought was swollen lymph tissue that had not gone down in size after over a year.  Some of you may recall that he had a surgical biopsy last December 2010 where the first swollen node was removed.  At that point we were told that the pathology came back as "nothing" and all blood work since we first became concerned about the large size of these nodes has also come back healthy.  

Dr. Woolley, our ENT that performed the surgery,  contacted us in late September to let us know that the pathology results on his tissue revealed a neurofibroma benign tumor.  This kind of tumor is not malignant but is a nerve sheath tumor that can indicate a condition called neurofibromatosis.  Dr. Woolley sent us to meet with a pediatric geneticist that next week.

Due to the confirmation of the neurofibroma tumor in his neck, as well as the observation of several cafe au lait birthmarks, we were sent to Children's Hospital to complete the blood test that provides a 95% accurate diagnosis of either NF1(Neurofibromatosis 1) or Segmented Neurofibromatosis .  Dr. Robin, our geneticist,said that it is highly likely that we will receive a positive result that Little Philip has one or the other of these.  If that is the case, then we, as parents, will be tested..  If either of us test positive, then they will test Helen as well.  

The good news - we have ruled out Neurofibromatosis Type 2, which has more severe complications since the tumors with this disorder tend to show up on the brain and spinal cord.  We are thankful that this is not the case for our son.

Also good news, no matter where you are in the country, the blood test for NF is sent right here to Birmingham in the genetic lab we visited today.  We are blessed to live in the city with the best NF specialists.  

Bad news - We will not know the results of the blood test until the middle of November.  We are seeing an ophthalmologist in mid-December to examine Philip's eyes for lisch modules  on the iris (benign, do not affect the sight, but are indicative of NF1 so this could further confirm a diagnosis).  .  

Since most NF1 and Segmented NF patients lead a completely normal life, many not even aware of their prognosis, we are praying for only routine tests that reveal nothing of concern.  I won't bore you with the details of how NF could develop of the course of Philip's life but in a nutshell, grade school and the onset of puberty are when NF complications can arise so right now and at puberty will be the times we will be closely monitoring him for any growth in tumors that could be the cause of learning disabilities, cosmetic disfigurement, etc.  We are trying not to let our minds go to these scenarios.

Despite the uncertainty, we are thankful to God for this prognosis.  When we received the initial call from Dr. Woolley, there are much more terrifying things that he could have told us.  We have friends who have received such a terrifying phone call and our heart goes out to them.    Big Philip and I have drawn closer in our desire to be faithful in our relationship with God.   We have wrestled with questions, doubts, fears, but ultimately rested in the peace of knowing that God does not make mistakes, and that He has a plan for our son to prosper, not harm him (Jeremiah 29:11).  We continue to be prayerful and vigilant as we wait for the blood test results and be the "normal" family we always have been (some of you have met other members of our gene pool and should be laughing right now). 

When People Ask Me What I Do for a Living...

Whenever people ask me where I work I say Samford University.  90% of the time, the next question is "what to do you teach there?" which leads to my answer "No, I am an administrator. I work in campus life."  At that point, the person either remembers a curmudgeon dean that punished them for a sensational college prank or they think I plan parties all the time.

Many of the programs and events I plan are fun but at the heart of it, there is a serious intent - To prepare students to lead lives of responsibility, character.  I try to do everything I can to plant the seed of compassion and service in their hearts so that they are actively engaged in their communities and of service in their lives post-graduation.  I want them to be a good neighbor, a real friend, even when that someone they encounter or befriend is outside of their comfort zone.  I want them to feel comfortable leaving their comfort zone.  I want them to lead a life of transparency.  And it is my prayer, that they will welcome Christ into their hearts so that others will see Him present in all of their actions, their decisions, and their behavior, rather than simply in the preachy words they might "use" rather than live.  For those students that have already welcomed Christ into their hearts, it is my prayer that college will be a time of refinement, where they will deepen in their faith, wrestle with the difficult questions of life, and find strength and encouragement in their faith.  It is my prayer that in life's most difficult of circumstances, their faith will sustain them and that God would show and grant me the opportunity to be a source of encouragement and support.  It is my prayer that I will deepen in my own faith through my work with these students, that they would see me, wholly imperfect except for the grace of God, working out my own faith on a daily basis, as I too, wrestle with the difficult circumstances of life.

Yesterday, over 700 new students chose Samford to begin what will be the best four years of their life, if they allow that process to take shape.  It can be a time of great joy, and memories that will last a lifetime.  Every one of those students comes with a different heritage, a different background, different values, differing levels of confidence, courage, understanding, encouragement.   This is what makes college such a thrilling time.  It is a blessing to me to engage with these students.  I love my job.

The Class of 2015

For those of you who know us, you know we work in higher education.  If that still baffles you, it means we work college students.  Each year, Beloit College publishes something called the Mind-Set List that gives some perspective on who the incoming college freshmen across the country are.  Here is this years, Class of 2015 list.

1. There has always been an Internet ramp onto the information highway.

2. Ferris Bueller and Sloane Peterson could be their parents.

3. States and Velcro parents have always required that they wear their bike helmets.

4. The only significant labor disputes in their lifetimes have been in major-league sports.

5. There have always been at least two women on the Supreme Court, and women have always commanded some U.S. Navy ships.

6. They "swipe" cards, not merchandise.

7. As the students have grown up on Web sites and cellphones, adult experts have constantly fretted about their alleged deficits of empathy and concentration.

8. Their schools' "blackboards" have always been getting smarter.

9. "Don't touch that dial!" ... What dial?

10. American tax forms have always been available in Spanish.

11. More Americans have always traveled to Latin America than to Europe.

12. Amazon has never been just a river in South America.

13. Refer to LBJ, and they might assume you're talking about LeBron James.

14. All their lives, Whitney Houston has always been declaring, "I Will Always Love You."

15. O.J. Simpson has always been looking for the killers of Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman.

16. Women have never been too old to have children.

17. Japan has always been importing rice.

18. Jim Carrey has always been bigger than a pet detective.

19. We have never asked, and they have never had to tell.

20. Life has always been like a box of chocolates.

21. They've always gone to school with Mohammed and Jesus.

22. John Wayne Bobbitt has always slept with one eye open.

23. There has never been an official Communist Party in Russia.

24. "Yadda, yadda, yadda" has always come in handy to make long stories short.

25. Video games have always had ratings.

26. Chicken soup has always been soul food.

27. The Rocky Horror Picture Show has always been available on TV.

28. Jimmy Carter has always been a smiling elderly man who shows up on TV to promote fair elections and disaster relief.

29. Arnold Palmer has always been a drink.

30. Dial-up is soooooooooo last century!

31. Women have always been kissing women on television.

32. Their older siblings have told them about the days when Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, and Christina Aguilera were Mouseketeers.

33. Faux Christmas trees have always outsold real ones.

34. They've always been able to dismiss boring old ideas with "Been there, done that, gotten the T-shirt."

35. The bloody conflict between the government and a religious cult has always made Waco sound a little wacko.

36. Unlike their older siblings, they spent bedtime on their backs until they learned to roll over.

37. Music has always been available via free downloads.

38. Grown-ups have always been arguing about health-care policy.

39. Moderate amounts of red wine and baby aspirin have always been thought good for the heart.

40. Sears has never sold anything out of a "Big Book" that could also serve as a doorstop.

41. The United States has always been shedding fur.

42. Electric cars have always been humming in relative silence on the road.

43. No longer known for just gambling and quickie divorces, Nevada has always been one of the fastest-growing states in the Union.

44. They're the first generation to grow up hearing about the dangerous overuse of antibiotics.

45. They pressured their parents to take them to Taco Bell or Burger King to get free pogs.

46. Russian courts have always had juries.

47. No state has ever failed to observe Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

48. While they've been playing outside, their parents have always worried about nasty new bugs borne by birds and mosquitoes.

49. Public schools have always made space available for advertising.

50. Some of them have been inspired to actually cook by watching the Food Channel.

51. Fidel Castro's daughter and granddaughter have always lived in the United States.

52. Their parents have always been able to create a will and other legal documents online.

53. Charter schools have always been an alternative.

54. They've grown up with George Stephanopoulos as the Dick Clark of political analysts.

55. New kids have always been known as NKOTB.

56. They've always wanted to be like Shaq or Kobe; Michael Who?

57. They've broken up with significant others via texting, Facebook, or MySpace.

58. Their parents sort of remember Woolworths as this store that used to be downtown.

59. Kim Jong-il has always been bluffing, but the West has always had to take him seriously.

60. Frasier, Sam, Woody, and Rebecca have never cheerfully frequented a bar in Boston during prime time.

61. Major League Baseball has never had fewer than three divisions and never lacked a wild-card entry in the playoffs.

62. Nurses have always been in short supply.

63. They won't go near a retailer that lacks a Web site.

64. Altar girls have never been a big deal.

65. When they were 3, their parents may have battled other parents in toy stores to buy them a Tickle Me Elmo while they lasted.

66. It seems the United States has always been looking for an acceptable means of capital execution.

67. Folks in Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City have always been able to energize with Pepsi-Cola.

68. Andy Warhol is a museum in Pittsburgh.

69. They've grown up hearing about suspiciously vanishing frogs.

70. They've always had the privilege of talking with a chatterbot.

71. Refugees and prisoners have always been housed by the U.S. government at Guantánamo.

72. Women have always been Venusians; men, Martians.

73. McDonald's coffee has always been just a little too hot to handle.

74. "PC" has come to mean personal computer, not political correctness.

75. The New York Times and The Boston Globe have never been rival newspapers.